Magnet...

I was out with Lucy tonight having dinner with her coworkers when I suddenly realized something. We were having a great time and I was really getting along with her work friends when it hit me. She's my girlfriend! It's just that I've kind of had a crush on her for a while and I knew if I ever had the chance I'd ask her out. But I had no clue in a million years that we would get along this well. It's a really nice feeling to feel this in sync with another person. My only fear at this point is that she's some sort of spy that has been studying me for years and creating the perfect cover in order to seduce me until I give up the secret location of all that Nazi gold. Well, if that's the case I hope she can forgive me when I tell her that the Nazi gold was never real, it was in her heart all along... God I'm so tired! This is what happens when I have a completely endearing and romantic thought but I couple it with a general lack of sleep and a stomach full of Mexican food. Either way, Lucy=Awesome Me=Happy

The End

Busted...

Once again my brain is busted. I should write about my heart procedure. I should write about work frustrations. I should spin a riveting yarn that perfectly illustrates the numerous and interesting aspects of my life...

But I cant!

I try to, but my brain is a mush with words like, freckles, hands, voice, hair, eyes. All of them prefixed with words like flawless, and perfect.

I'm running out of ways to articulate this, which is probably a good thing because I'm sure these are the types of blogs that only one of my readers is interested in. So my apologies to Katie, Lynn, and anyone else that may read this, but this blog is about whats on my mind, and she's all I can think about right now...

I think...

I think the blogging part of my brain is broken! I've sat down to write a new blog three times this morning and all that comes out is incoherent gibberish. It could be a brain tumor, or maybe some slowly developing mental disorder. Or it could be because there is this girl, and every time I'm with her my brain goes completely haywire. I'm not joking! I tried to blog last night after she went home and it looked like this...

"dear blog,

Tonight was ffffffuuuuuuububububbbfffffll mmmmmm4mnn.

-Michael"

Now I can only think of two possible phenomenon to explain my situation.

1. I have an amazing girlfriend and my brain just hasn't figured out how to process how awesome she is yet... OR...

2. Lucy Burk is some sort of alien who was sent here from her home planet to steal my brainwaves because they emit a unique signal that her race uses to power their massive alien fleet.

Now, I would prefer option number one, but number two would explain all those weird lights and sounds that appear over my house every night...

I feel like I haven't actually sat down and done any serious blogging recently but I haven't felt that clever lately. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't blog unless I can spin some exciting yarn about zombies or radioactive dolphins that has a close allegorical link to whats going on in my life. But I really don't have the creative juices right now to do that so I'm just going to list some of the things going on with me right now...

Heart procedure:

Less than two weeks away. I was really comfortable with it until I met with the doctor who is doing it. He went into way too much detail about what he wants to do and now it seems a lot less like the out patient deal that he made it out to be at first. I was also worried about talking to Lucy about this. My heart issues have a history of freaking girls out and I had scheduled this thing long before I decided to ask her out. Part of me was really considering not asking her out at all until after it was over but I really couldn't help myself. Just try spending five minutes in a room with her and you'd see what I mean. Either way I'm still a little freaked out but the more reading I do on it the better I feel about it.

Work:

Every morning I go into work and sit at my desk and every morning there's some new phone message or email that makes my brain want to explode. I think someone is trying to kill me by irritating me to death with work issues. I love the company I work for but I need to find a job there that actually makes me want to wake up in the morning.

Girl:

Lucy came over yesterday and made pizza for me, from scratch! It was the single most impressive thing I've ever seen a human being do. Until now I thought food was something that magically appeared after you gave money to low payed minority workers. But apparently you can rub a bunch of ingredients together, heat them up, and they make delicious meals. We ate the pizza, went for a walk, and then watched Baby Mama. It sounds pretty low key, but I don't think I've had this much fun with another human being in a very long time. I could probably write another page on how I feel but I've got to keep up this cool guy facade so, yeah... I'm pretty happy...

Random Thought...

There Will be Blood is a great movie... But, with who was next to me, I'm pretty sure I could have been watching Waterworld in Spanish tonight and I really wouldn't have cared less...

I'm just going to embarrass myself...

Today sucked. I worked over ten hours, didn't get nearly as much done as I wanted, had like three dizzy spells, and got a bloody nose for no apparent reason. If this had happened a month ago this blog would have been another page of me complaining about how I really don't like my work and how I just want to pack up all my stuff, quit my job, move to Carlsbad, and live on the beach. But, to be honest all I really want to write about is the Phoenix Zoo. More specifically the person who is taking me there, but because I know for a fact that she is reading this right now (Hi!) and I really don't want to embarrass myself that much I'll just say this... What would have been a normally crappy day was that much better simply because of the thought of spending a day with someone who can tolerate the fact that I'm going to spend an hour at the monkey cage telling them to say hi to their mothers for me.

sorry

I usually don't do three post so close together but I was so proud of myself that I had to share it. I cancelled my World of Warcraft account today. I really just don't have the motivation to play anymore. But when you cancel your account you have the option of telling them why you quit. This is what I put...

"I met a girl and she showed me what the outside looked like. It's kind of nice. Although it does take really long to level up. I killed like fifty pigs and all that happened was a farmer tried to shoot me!"

I'm really hoping someone actually reads these and it makes their life a little better...

wow!

After reading that last post I feel that I must disclaim...

Ahem... I in no way feel that any of the loyal patrons of the financial institution where I work would be or deserve to be devoured by the undead. I merely have an overactive imagination and sometimes feel the need to express myself in the most creative way i see fit. In this case, my allusion to a zombie outbreak was merely my way of suggesting that a small number of people may not have the proper mental facilities to manage themselves in a crisis. Furthermore, I feel that most of the people I meet throughout the day are quite pleasant and are well within their capabilities when managing their own lives.

Thank you,
Goodnight.

My Braaaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnssssss

Working in finance I've had the pleasure of meeting all types of people. Everyone needs to keep their money somewhere and most of them come to me. With all that exposure to such a wide sampling of the populous I can say with some certainty that people can be categorized into two distinct groups. Those who could survive the zombie apocalypse and those who would inevitably be killed and fuel the ever growing zombie horde. This is usually the first thing I think when I meet a new client. Would this person be the type to help me build a new society amidst the landscape of a zombie ravaged wasteland, or would their foolish attempts at survival only lead them to be feasted upon by the walking undead. Unfortunately, I'd have to say that in my expert judgment at least 80% of the human race is doomed. Most people are incapable of understanding and organizing their lives even without the impending threat of zombie invasion. How is Joe Six-Pack supposed to handle something as simple as ammunition management when he cant even balance his checkbook. It's just that I see so many people failing at normal life, and because of that it's hard not to believe that when heaven is full and the dead flood the streets that the only thing those people will be good at is creating a living wall that simply serves to block the zombie horde long enough so that me, and those few others that have it in them, can survive.

That last post...

Ignore it... I was just upset that it was Monday. Scratch that, I was upset that it wasn't Sunday. I think I just assumed that because I didn't want Sunday to end that Monday would suck that much more. But it didn't! I actually had a good time at work and the day went by pretty fast. It's not that I'm suddenly in love with what I do at work now, but today just seemed a little more bearable than usual... I wonder why?

My Brain!

If you ask most people who know me, they'll say I have kind of a one track mind. I tend to arrange my life in such a way that I only really have to worry about one thing at a time. Well in the past week I've have four separate but rather large issues that have been wracking my brain and I think it may explode soon. Since I'm not one hundred percent on my readership I'll have to be vague, but one is extremely exciting, one is extremely irritating, one is kind of scary, and one is slowly sucking the life out of me. Now I can't really do anything about the scary one, I'll just have to wait on that one. The sucking-the-life-out-of-me one has no foreseeable solution until next year. The irritating one is the one that's really giving me a headache and I'm not quite sure how to handle. As for the exciting one, that will probably be the one that's on my mind all day today, so hopefully it'll keep my brain occupied so the other things don't creep in and give me a headache.

P.S. Sorry about the vagueness, but in my mind everyone I know reads my blog like the Bible... they do don't they? (cough... cough...)

P.P.S I just ran a spellcheck and it found no misspelling! I don't think that's ever happened to me before!

Two things...

First, I think I'd like to be a rock star. From what I've seen, it seems to be a very appealing lifestyle. I'd get to sing and dance around like a crazy person and people would cheer for me and I would'nt really have to go to work... It sounds like fun!

Second, I didn't really plan to advertise on my blog but I think everyone who reads this should know that if they don't have Netflix then they're walking around with a big gaping black hole in their soul. A hole that they probably don't even know is there. Any I pray that someday I might be a talented enough writer to describe the feeling of building an extensive queue, forgetting everything you've put on it, and then getting those beautiful red envelopes in your mailbox. If you've ever wondered what it's like to actually hold endless opportunity in your hands, its getting a Netflix envelope and not remembering what you've ordered.


Today I got "Baby Mama"


sheer magic...

Lots to say...

But not a lot of time to say it. I'm completely exhausted and I want to go to bed, but my brain can't stop processing all the awesome things that happened today...

And to think that when I woke up I thought it was just going to be another Wednesday.

I dont leave for work for another hour...

I'm bored, here are some anagrams of some of my friends names...

Edward Terranova = An over-rated draw

Beth Terranova = Threaten bravo

Dustin Kuczak = Dusk Zack unit

Will Hirsch = Hi! Shrill WC

Lucy Burk = Lucky rub

Michael Wolski = I am whole slick

Katie Pesta = Take a spite

Autumn Pesta = Mutant pause

Don't blame me... these were all created with http://www.anagramgenius.com/

I hate weekdays...

I've discovered recently that I'm only truly happy two days out of the week. That means I'm only happy 28.5% of the time! I don't hate my job or anything but sometimes it feels like a chore that I only do so I can get to Saturday and Sunday. The fact that the last two weekends have been especially awesome (don't ask my why, that's a whole other blog!) has only served to remind me of how long and daunting the week is. But I guess we all have our burdens to bear. For some its disease and starvation, for others it's oppression and hate. For me it's a 40 hour work week... I guess I don't have it that bad, but man I cant wait until Friday!

A story...

So I've recently become aware that a lot of our actions as human beings are predetermined by our prejudices and preconceptions. That even the most ill-conceived notions, if kept unchecked, can force us to make terrible decisions that can keep us from leading truly fulfilling lives. I discovered this first hand the other day while at the local sandwich shop. The woman at the counter asked me, as she always does, if I wanted the works. I responded as I normally do that I wanted NO tomatoes, onions, or mustard. I took my sandwich, sat down to eat, and was treated to what can only be described as a tastegasm. I immediately opened the sandwich to find that the woman who prepared it had accidentally put mustard on it. You see I've spent my whole life telling people "no mustard," because I truly felt I hated it. I'm sure it started sometime during my childhood, but the point is I've spent my whole life hating this condiment for no reason and now all I feel is regret for so may sandwiches wasted. It makes me wonder what other condiments I've missed, maybe mayonnaise isn't that bad, maybe a little onion wouldn't hurt. But I'll be DAMNED before I put tomatoes on my sandwich! I hate them so much!

Thank you mustard, for opening my eyes...

Epilogue

After eating the greatest sandwich ever I returned to the counter to compliment the chef on her mistake, but she was nowhere to be seen. I asked around, and no one seemed to know who she was. As I went to leave the manager came running out of the back room, grabbed me by the arm, and told me that he knew who she was. It was his wife, she loved mustard. She couldn't eat a sandwich without it. But then as tears began rolling down his cheeks he told me she had died one year ago on this very day in a freak mustard accident...

OK that part didn't happen but the rest is still true... sort of...